Thursday, April 22, 2010

Earth Day FAIL

I should have known. I woke up this morning and felt like it was going to be a bad day. I should have just stayed in bed. I decided it was too chilly to walk my five year old to school this morning, even though it is Earth Day and NOT driving would be doing my little part and teaching my kid about trying to erase a carbon footprint, but it was chilly....and I was we drove. I promised myself that no matter what I would pick her up after school on foot.
Walking to my kid's school is no great task, it's only a few blocks away, but there is some finesse to the timing. They don't allow parents on the school yard until 10 minutes before the bell rings. If I head over there too early, I'm waiting outside a chained-up door peaking through like a looney. If I leave too late, my wittle kindergartener freaks out when her classroom door opens and Mom's not there. That being said, I calculated my variables and decided I could squeeze in a trash-take-out trip just before heading out with plenty of seconds to spare. That's when things went bad. Very bad.

Some asshole had decided it would be far easier to leave a half-full dirty aquarium perched next to the trash chute, than to actually take it down to the dumpster. I had barely opened the door to the trash chute room when the glass aquarium started to fall. It had been placed on top of a box half it's size and just the gust of wind that came along with opening the door made it tip over. And on to me. And break in a million pieces of glass. And gallons of water soaked up my foot, sock, and sneaker, and proceeded to gush down the hallway.


Catching my breathe after having the shit scared out of me, I realize I've got to alert the proper authorities to said disaster, and head out to pick up my kid five minutes ago. Now I'm late, and hauling ass down Laurel Canyon, with a squish in my step, literally. I am cursing the anonymous asshole for being lazy, I am cursing my squishy foot in it's wet sock and sneaker, and wondering what kind of dirty-fish-water-algae is marinating my foot.
Just as the imaginary steam starts coming out of my ears, I look up to see some idiot crossing, nay, JAYWALKING across Laurel and I'm thinking "wow, that guy's got balls to just jump out in the middle of traffic" until I take a closer look. A very tan, a very well-groomed, impeccably dressed, ROB LOWE looks over at me.
All I could do was laugh. And Squish. And laugh again. Not sure what the universe is trying to tell me today, but I'm pretty sure getting attacked my trash on Earth Day is not a good sign. Even if the handsome Rob Lowe did cross my path.